PUT THE THINGS ON MOTION TO BE BETTER

 Lately I feel very blue, like I don't belong anywhere... there's only few things make me light up... recently  my father in May turned 3 years since deceased(past away)....and of course I miss him..i thinks many things make me feeel sad...also i am so tired of seeing people with his partner...is like I feel I always will be alone....nobody hug in 7 years and I miss that to, it's not that there none one with interest in me, is that I don't find anyone that make feel spark again....I have 30 so, many people say to me, that I will be alone if I don't down my spectations....I only want someone I like physically and someone make me laugh....that we can laugh together...someone I can admire for his qualities and personality...

I have so much love to give but I don't know what I doing wrong, maybe I scare people? My friends tell Im beautiful so I think maybe someone liked me at the beginning but later they put many expectations on me and finally they feel deception...I'm not perfect and I don't want to appear to be that way....I don't wanna appear to be someone else that Im not just to catch a boy, it's not fair for anybody, he and me....somedays I just want to be alone and watch TV and eat candies....it's that so wrong?....I like the time to be with myself but I miss having someone to love.

Sometimes I wonder if any of the guys (the members) feels the same way? They sacrifice everything for his dreams....in part I understand the way of the feeling because, I feel the same, since my 14 to my 30 I dedicated my life to my religion, I'm not regret but I think there are so much things I didn't live because I was so inmerge in giving my best and concentrate that I forgot my age and I don't lived my age properly....I don't know when people are not talking me with sincerity, I'm very naive and my friends tell me this too....and the members too give the best por his band mate and in that time lost(a way of seeing  it is not lost, you get that point right?) his years of youth....they lost experiences, privacy, special ocassions etc.

There's is someone in the world who will appreciate my heart?...a heart more fix and broken that happy in this past years....and my health is not good as in past years, that make me sad too....I wish soon this feeling go away for good...as that time comes, pliss ARMY keep giving love to the guys, surely they need it in a world when a lot of people only seeing them as trophys and not as persons...they need us to be more happy day to day...and also give them privacy, they are humans too, they need it,we have to remenber that oki ? :)

IT IS GOOD NOT EVERYDAY IT IS A GOOD DAY....WE ARE HUMANS...LOVE YOURSELF EVEN THAT DAYS

SENDING LOVE

E